Tainted
by PnutButtr
Summary: His hands were stained with her blood. He let "him" take over again. And this time it cost him. He was forever tainted. Rated M for violence.


**A/N: So this is a story I had actually written for a narrative assignment for my English class... Lol I wrote this a couple weeks ago and have decided to post it. Hope you like the story, but be warned that it is rated M for violence and suggestive themes. Sorry, no lemon you wierdos. Enjoy at your own risk.**

**Disclaimer: I hope you know that I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. If I did, Bella would not be so damn dull and annoying, Edward wouldn't look constipated, and Jacob wouldn't be such a dumbass. Lol **

Tainted

It was a cold, winter night in Forks, Washington. A man, not more than twenty-five, stood in the snow-covered landscape. He wore nothing but a grey t-shirt, a pair of cargo shorts, and a worn pair of sneakers. His hands were shoved into his pockets, not because he was cold, but because he was uncomfortable, rigid. The light winds graced his short black hair like they do the free grass of the plains. It blew, seemed to flow in the chilled wind, but he seemed unfazed by the below freezing temperature as he solemnly stared down at the epitaph in front of him. The site, once surrounded by a plethora of beautiful flowers, was now a littered with the stems of dead plants. The epitaph had a thin layer of snow over it. The man unceremoniously dropped to his knees, tracing his shaking fingers over the beautifully engraved calligraphy, mumbling her name to himself as tears casually strolled down his bronze cheeks.

"Nessie, my Nessie," he choked out the words.

He caressed the grave as if it were her cheek. He smiled faintly at the fond memories he had of her silky, porcelain white skin. He could see her now; her thin figure standing slightly out of reach, long, bronze ringlets of hair flowing in the wind.

He heard her sing-song laugh ring out, clear as day. "Come on, Jake.

The tears were flowing now. He couldn't stop them. His hands began to shake and he knew what was about to happen.

Jacob jumped up and bolted, straight for the woods. He wiped the tears that were obscuring his vision angrily before exploding into his true form. He had to get away; away from the memories, away from this town, away from _her. _

Nessie was his everything. She was the love of his life. She was the only person he had ever truly loved, and she was gone. And it was all his fault.

Everyone tried to console him. They told him it was an accident. They told him they were there for him, that they were 'sorry for his loss.' Where were they now, huh?

Nowhere. Nowhere to be seen.

Where were they when he needed them? Where were they when he screamed for help as he held his dying mate in his arms? Where were they when he held the gun of mercy to his head and pulled the trigger of depression? Where were they when he needed them most?

The questions ran through his mind and only fueled his hatred for them. They were supposed to be his friends, always by his side. His lips curled back as he snarled, saliva dripping out of his mouth. He ran faster. And for some reason, that was the answer. Somehow, someway, he would just be able to outrun his problems. He would be able to run so fast that he would be able to run away from himself and he wouldn't have to deal with the guilt that plagued his mind everyday of his miserable life. And that's when he began to reminisce.

His eyes slowly opened and he scanned the small room. It was quite plain with white walls and grey carpet. The only furniture in the dull bedroom was an oakwood bedroom set, nothing but obstacles in the way of their love.

He looked at the clock; it read 7:30. He groaned and rolled over, hugging his lover next to him and pulling her body close to him, burying his face in her neck.

"Jaaaaaake," she whined in protest.

"Whaaaat?" he mocked her ever so slightly.

"I have to pee," she giggled and untangled herself from his grasp.

"Wwwwhhhhhyyyyyy?" he whined sitting up and grasping the air as if to call her back into his arms, but he quickly gave up and sighed, falling back onto the bed unceremoniously and soon fell fast asleep once more.

_Someone was constraining him, two large hands were digging their nails into his shoulders._ _A woman was screaming. There was that sickening crunching noise of breaking bones after every punch the man threw. For some reason, he had this overwhelming feeling that he needed to get to her, he had to get to her, but the hands wouldn't let him move an inch. He screamed her name, but no sound came out. He struggled against the hands to no avail. Then there was no screaming, no noise at all. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. The man stood up and moved away, as if admiring what he had just done, revealing the woman; her body was drenched in blood and destroyed to the point that she was practically unrecognizable. Unrecognizable, except for her eyes, those piercing brown eyes. Her cold, dead eyes staring into his, judging him. He heard her voice in his head demanding over and over again, _Why? _Then she was gone, and he was helpless, just as dead as she was. _

The shapeshifter awoke suddenly, sweat dripping from his brow, his breathing hitched. This was the third time he had had that dream. This time it was different; this time he saw the woman. And she was his Nessie.

He raked his fingers through his messy hair roughly, repeating to himself that it was all just a dream, trying to convince himself that it wasn't real. He knew that he was on the verge of hyperventilating and he needed to calm down.

"Jake, is everything alright?" the bronze haired beauty said as she peered into the room.

Jacob looked up and removed his hands from his head. When he saw the concern in her face, he looked down at himself and noticed his state, which was somewhat of a fetal position, and the disheveled sheets that were bunched up here and there, half of the bed sheet was draped over one side of the bed and rested on the floor.

He quickly jumped out of bed, wincing at the shooting pain in his head, and looked at her with wide eyes, "Yeah, I- um, I was just thinking about something..."

He was becoming dizzy. He winced at the sledgehammer that smashed against his skull, pressing his palms against his brows as if it would ease the pain.

Damn he was a bad liar. And she saw right through it. "Did it happen again?"

He immediately became defensive, a glare overtaking his once nervous face. "I'm fine."

She walked over to him and gently cupped his face with her palm, showing him the scene she had just walked in to moments ago. "That's not fine, Jake. Why can't you just tell me what's going on? Has it gotten worse?"

"God dammit, Nes! Stop treating me like a child! I said I'm fine! I don't need your help or your concern." he said, seething.

His eyes were black pits of darkness; an evil had overtaken Jacob Black and left a reckless beast incapable of the love or concern that he once held for the woman trying to console him. He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was resting on his cheek and ripped it from his face.

Tears had formed in her eyes, her face misconstrued in pain. "Jake stop! You're hurting me!"

She tried to pull her wrist out of his vice-like grip, but he was too strong for her.

She was frantic and terrified now. She had never seen him like this before. She looked at him with pleading eyes, but she only saw hatred. His emotions invaded her soul; they plagued her heart.

She heard a crunching noise and saw her hand contorted in an unusual way. She screamed at the searing pain not a second later. The sheltered half-mortal had never felt pain before, let alone anything as mortifying as this.

"Jake!" she screamed in a futile effort to make him come to his senses and release his grip.

To her dismay, his face only hardened and a snarl escaped from his throat. "SHUT UP!"

He threw her against the wall with a yell, creating an indentation in it with her body. She slumped to the floor. Blacking out for a second, she weakly opened her eyes to look at her aggressor. She breathed deeply, her heart racing. She wasn't going to run. No. She knew that this wasn't the Jacob she loved. She knew that he would come to his senses and stop before he did any serious damage. Or, at least, that's what she hoped would happen.

Before she could get to her feet, he raised his fist and decked her square in the jaw, breaking it and a few teeth along with it. A steady stream of blood began to flow from her mouth.

The battered woman lay there, her hand raised to her knew wound as she cried in pain.

"God help me, please," she desperately prayed under her breath.

The man kneeled down so he was eye level with her and grabbed a fistful of her hair, forcing her to look at him.

"No God can protect you from me," he smirked and laughed maniacally, taunting the defeated woman in front of him.

Her face became as white as the sheets on the bed. She was frozen in fear. She knew this was the end. And there was no way for her to escape.

The man descended on her like a bat out of hell, beating her to a bloody pulp until she was barely recognizable. He stood back and admired his work, pleased with the art he had created.

Her head rolled to the side, and, as she took her last breath, she stared right through his soul, judging him. Hating him.

And that is when the man dropped to the floor in agony, digging his nails into his head as her lover returned. In the final moments of the darkness that plagued his soul, he smashed his fist down on her neck, snapping it like a twig.

But he was too late. He had let himself slip too far this time. He made a mistake, and it costed him the only thing he truly loved in this god-forsaken world.

"No, no, no," he repeated when he noticed his blood stained hands and clothes.

He slowly looked up, terrified of what he would see. His worst nightmare had come to life.

She was lying there, unmoving. Her neck at an awkward angle and her face, once beautiful and practically flawless, was now a mess of blood and flesh. The only recognizable features were her eyes. Her brown eyes pierced his soul. Something snapped inside of him, and it hurt.

He clumsily crawled over to her and slowly picked her corpse up into his arms, blood dripping onto the floor, a puddle of it already clearly visible. Tears streaked his face as he clutched her body close to his, rocking back and forth as if trying to sooth a child.

He screamed as if he could bring her back to life with his voice alone. He was choking on his sobs, tears, mucus, and blood running down his face and mixing together in the most grotesque fashion.

He could have prevented this. If only he was a stronger person, then... then maybe, just maybe, she would still be alive. But she wasn't. And it was all his fault.

_Jake! Jake stop! Please! Let me help you! _

Ripped from his thoughts, he abruptly stopped mid-stride, skidding across the frozen tundra. How far had he ran? Where the hell was he?

_Jake! _A sand colored wolf emerged from the horizon and quickly came to his side. _I was so worried about you! I finally found you!_

Seth made a move to come closer, but Jacob growled, a menacing snarl erupting from his throat that surprised even him. Seth whimpered and fell to the ground, awestruck by his alpha's commanding tone.

_LEAVE! _Jacob commanded, using every ounce of his being to compel his disciple to leave him in solitude.

Seth scrambled to get up and left in a sprint from where he came. _We're just trying to help you, Jake. Why won't you just stop shutting us out and—_

Jake blocked him from his mind and went into a nearby cave to rest. When he reached the clearing, he reverted back to his human form and leaned against the rock wall of the small cave.

He wasn't tired physically, but, mentally, he was a mess, and he knew it. He slid to the floor with a _thud _that echoed through the cave, his hot, naked skin melting the ice on the frozen floor.

And that's when _she _invaded his mind again. Her flawless face and beautiful body. He remembered every single curve and crevice of her body like the back of his hand. He missed her smooth skin and her soft touch.

He caressed the air as if it was her side. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, the light from the setting sun causing his eyes to spark with the fire of love that he still felt for her.

Jacob felt a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over him. His body felt as if it were a thousand pounds heavier than it was just a minute ago.

He didn't even try to fight it. He let the exhaustion overtake him and he slumped to the ground in a heap of sorrow and remorse. All of his pent up feelings finally took him and he was gone.

In the clearing, he could see a lone figure with curly hair blowing in the wind. He couldn't quite make out the face due to the setting sun casting a dark shadow over her face. It seemed as if she was reaching out to him.

"Jake," she said in an angelic whisper.

Jacob stood up, seemingly in a trance, and walked toward the woman. Upon closer inspection, he knew it was her. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him toward the love of his life. When he reached her, he scooped her up into his arms and swung her around, losing his balance and falling to the ground with her on top of him.

Her eyes locked onto his and he brushed a strand of hair from her face behind her ear. He just stared into her beautiful brown eyes, never wanting to see them lose that light ever again.

"I forgive you," she said softly with a loving smile, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I know it wasn't you. I know you would never hurt me."

He grabbed her cheeks with both hands and kissed her deeply and passionately. Reluctant to leave the sweet taste of her lips, he said, "I love you. I will never let _him_ hurt you again. Never."

The two lovers engaged in their eternal embrace and they stayed like that. Never letting go.

**A/N: So, what did you think? Please review! Leave a like if you enjoyed it and follow me for more interesting and depressing stories. :D Just kidding. Not all my stories are depressing. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!**


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